I hate to link it, but without source material, you might not know what I am talking about:
Korean mother: A cultural icon
If he would have simply said, “I love my mom”, it might actually not piss so many people off.
Being a person that comes into contact with Korean mothers, on a daily basis, I think I might have something to add.
My first question would be, why are Korean mothers more of a cultural Icon than any other [insert nationality] mother? That pretext alone makes anyone reading this very uncomfortable.
What bothers me most is that this text is simply immersed with misogynistic, nationalistic and cultural insensitive bullcrap. It’s no wonder that woman in Korea feel the way they do. (FYI: I am married to one)
Familial relationships in Korea can be very traumatizing, mostly due to the extreme pressure fellow Koreans force upon themselves. This article is a prime example of how they do it. They make people feel guilty and inadequate by proposing that “all Koreans are like that”. Oh really! My experience in Korea tells me just the opposite. That every Korean is different, but that society does not accept the individual to be him/herself. Do we really have to talk about suicides again?
Koreans are very adequate in making other people feel bad about themselves and about the decisions one makes. It’s like the Stockholm Syndrome on a national scale. Look at the following example:
In Korea, the image of a mother is closer to a bird. A mother bird, when raising children, does not eat anything all day; she is busy catching worms and feeding her babies in the nest. Like a mother bird, Korean mothers are willing to sacrifice themselves for their children. In Korea, therefore, the word “mother” always evokes the sweetness of care and affection, mercy and sacrifice, home and nostalgia.
In other words, if a Korean mother DOESN’T do this, she is considered to be a bad mother. At first, what he says looks really romantic, but the reality is, this is his yardstick. The yardstick to which ALL mothers should hold themselves dear. I can honestly tell you, Korean mothers KNOW that everyone thinks this is what a “good” mother should do, and therefore are compelled to live by those words. Opposite land.
If Korean mothers are so great and grandiose, how come their kids didn’t make a simple top 10 list? Exactly, because every Korean is hellbent on making everyone else unhappy, by forcing them to follow impossible standards.
- Fathers are unhappy, because they have to sacrifice every ounce of their freedom to increase the wealth of their family. Great concept, until the family starts spending outside of their means to impress people they don’t like.
- Mothers are unhappy, because their only measure of value to society is the Academic success of their offspring.
- Children are unhappy because they try so hard to meet the expectations of their parents.
What happened to happy family life? Father never at home, mother always stressing and kids trying to find an escape. Reality check people!
Another cultural insensitive beauty:
Compared to Korean mothers, for example, American mothers seem to be reluctant to forgo their personal lives for their children.
Another hidden yardstick, telling other people what should be the proper way. This beauty of a sentence shows the lack of his cultural understanding of Western Education models an philosophies. Please Mr. Kim, take another good look at this list here. And tell me again that “American mothers” are reluctant to forgo their personal lives. You haven’t got the foggiest clue. You are the one that should be ashamed.
Then another yardstick to which he esteems Korean mothers to be better than their Western counterparts:
I have an American friend who, like other American parents, sends her children to their bedroom at 8 o’clock in the evening. I asked, “Why do you send your children upstairs so early?” She answered without hesitation, “I need my own time too.” Of course, she had a point. Nevertheless, it occurred to me that if she were a Korean mother, she would not do that. In the eyes of a Korean mother, it would look too selfish.
Do you know how many hours of sleep a child needs? Here, I did the work for you : Sleep reqs for kids. Now tell me who is selfish, the mother that makes sure the kids get enough to sleep, or the mother that neglects the NEEDS of her children, just so she can maximize her prestige with her social peers, by reducing the amount of sleep the kids get and force feeding them “education”.
Prof. Dr. Kim, you are an idiot. I suggest, before you publish any more articles explaining the wonders of Korean culture, you get yourself educated first.
Throughout modern history, Korean mothers have been not only sacrificial but also exceptionally strong. They survived the harsh days of Japanese colonialism, the devastating Korean War, and the many subsequent political upheavals that tore through the country.
Yes, because only Korean mothers have faced wars. Really? Follow some history lessons, please. I am sure you will realize that in every war, mothers have done the impossible to safeguard their children. Man, stop putting your foot in your mouth.
Each time the college entrance exam policy was altered, creating chaos and confusion, Korean mothers managed to navigate the new system and help their children enter college successfully. We say, “Behind every great man, there is a great woman.” In Korea, the great woman is primarily your mother, and then perhaps your wife.
Maybe instead of paying so much tribute to your mother, you might want to spend some of it on your wife, WHO IS THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN. Can’t you see the stupidity of all the things you are saying? Are you really telling this with conviction that what you say is true? No wonder divorce rates are so high in Korea.
Don’t you think children would be happier if they could see the love of their parents for each other, rather than having the entire family deal with the social stigma’s other Koreans are throwing in your face? I would love to have a chat with your wife, to see if she can actually love a man who loves his mother more than his wife. Idiot.
The novel’s status as a New York Times Book Review bestseller shows that the story of a Korean mother appealed to the American mind as well. Indeed, it may be a good idea to promote the image of the “Korean mother” as an icon of Korean culture in the international community. Korean mothers are so unique and exceptional, after all.
Yes, people read books only because the message is so beautiful. Maybe people want to kill other people because they read crime novels. Stop making woman feel inadequate. Life is hard enough for them as it is. It’s maybe due to the exodus of SO MANY KOREANS out of Korea, that this book has such a great appeal. They were curious about the place they left behind as children. I wonder why they left in the first place…. (Adoption) You don’t deserve your title as a Dr. or as a Prof. If this is the quality of your dissertation, you should be ashamed of your work.
I don’t even want to say anything about your reference to a comedy show, which you feel is a prime example of “American” culture. Maybe you should spend some time in America, to understand that America is not a homogeneous culture, and that the diversity of American culture allows for many different people to raise their kids in the way they believe is best for them. I am not American, and I feel insulted by your comment.
Prof. Dr. Kim; I hereby declare you to be a tool of your own misogynistic, and nationalistic misguided believes. Next time, you would do well to talk to a few more woman. You might not reveal anything new, because to talk to a man of your ideals, honesty might not be the best strategy.
